Articles/News

5 May 2009

Nature and Children, By Bill Corbett

“Our preschool daughters caught a lizard in the backyard and my husband told them they could keep it in a jar.   I told them it was nature and they had to let it go.  They both threw a tantrum and a meltdown ensued.”

As you might suspect, I receive emails, letters, and phone calls with all sorts of questions about a children’s behavior from frustrated parents around the country.  When I read this question, my initial reaction was to dismiss it and go on to the next, but a second read revealed some powerful opportunities for these parents to teach, coach and guide.  Aside from the fact that they were not setting an example for the children of working as a team in supporting each other, they were also too focused on the lizard as an object.  Instead, they could have used the capture of this lizard as an opportunity to teach the girls a little bit about our respect for God’s nature, our partnership with the world around us, and an appreciation for different forms of life.

 

Before I offer my ideas on the learning opportunity here, I can’t help but address the fact that the girls had a meltdown and I don’t blame them.  Their response to not being able to keep the lizard speaks to the mode that parents are in these days; buying too much material “stuff” and not setting enough limits and boundaries.  My trips into my local grocery and discount stores give me ample opportunities to see these fits occurring frequently when a parent says no and tries to set a limit.  Children who have meltdowns were trained to have them by the parents who reach their breaking point and give in to the child’s demands.  Parents who are buying too much for their children either had very little when they were young and are trying to give their children what they didn’t have, or it’s an attempt to make up for the little time they have set aside for them and feel that providing toys for them will make it all feel better.  The result will be seen in their children’s behavior with little or no respect for things, a lack of respect for boundaries and limits, and mindset of instant gratification.  Food for thought is to limit what you buy for your children, set and keep boundaries, and don’t get mad at your kids when they get frustrated.

 

OK, back to the main point of this question.  Instead of letting your child just keep a creature in a jar or demanding that they let it go right away, use it as a wonderful opportunity to examine the world around your child and help them begin to construct their opinions and feelings about nature.  With spring now here, there is so much to show and teach your children about this incredible world in which we live.  Match it with the powerful wonder going on in your child’s mind and you’ll allow them to get away from the computer, the television, and the DVDs long enough to learn more.  You might actually have some incredible together-time moments that will build your relationship with your child.

 

To the mom asking this question, I suggest she allow them to keep it temporarily and then let it go.  While holding it in a glass jar to be examined, take some digital pictures of it and allow the children to decide which ones are their favorites to keep.  I had a brush with nature last year when a raccoon showed up at my backdoor one evening.  I ran into this overly friendly little guy while bring cat food out to feed a lonely stray and he didn’t seem to want to leave.  I grabbed my digital camera and snapped a few pictures that became keepsakes to share with my grandchildren over and over.

 

Take the kids to the local library and research just exactly what it is, what it eats, and the most favorable conditions for its habitat.  Allow the children to decide where they’ll let the little creature go and allow them to participate in the release as much as possible.  It might be a great excuse for getting out to your local state park to walk and examine more nature.  Before you leave for the park though, see if your local state park has a Web site with a schedule of planned activities.  During this time of the year, many parks have activities set up for doing exactly what I’m mentioning here, allowing our children to connect with nature.  You’ll find nature walks, demonstrations, reenactments, guided tours, and arts and craft events, just to name a few.

 

Once the little creature is released it doesn’t mean he’s gone and the experience is over, but instead, the creativity can now begin.  Go back to those digital photos you saved and pull them into an art or photo computer program to modify.  You can blow them up, print them out, or modify them with special effects to create some wonderful art projects.  There are special programs for children that will allow for importing photos so the kids can color them or decorate them.  If you don’t have software that will allow you to do that, pull the pictures up on the screen and allow your children to draw and color their own free-hand versions of pictures of the creature to name and share with family.

 

At this point, the little lizard is physically gone, but he can remain as long as you or your children want him to be around to explore their imagination and creativity inside of them just waiting to be released and experienced.  Capturing a little piece of live nature temporarily to touch and see can be so enriching for our kids if we learn to coach them properly.  It’s also a great opportunity to shut off that electronic noise for a while and allow them to open their eyes to the true beauty around them.

 

Bill Corbett is the author of the book “Love, Limits, & Lessons,” and the executive director of Cooperative Kids.  He has three grown children, two grandchildren, and lives with his wife Elizabeth near Hartford, Connecticut.  You can visit his Web site www.CooperativeKids.com  for more information and parenting advice.